Cyd & Shelby's Haunted Escape/Transcript
Cyd and Shelby Strike Back/Transcript
Shelby and Cyd are studying for a test in their room.
Shelby: Next question on the driver's ed test. "If you arrive at a traffic signal that's flashing red, you should-"
Cyd: Get out and start an intersection dance party?
Both: (VOCALIZING) Ooh! Ooh!
Shelby: I think I just realized why it takes us so long to study. Now come on, Cyd. The test is tomorrow. Our first step to getting our licenses. Soon, we'll be able to drive.
Cyd: What's so great about driving?
Shelby: Are you kidding? We'll finally be free.
Cyd: "Free" is just short for "freedom." The second half of that is "dumb." I rest my case.
Shelby: Did you just make an airtight argument against freedom? You're smart in ways that disturb me. But I don't get it. Everyone in our class is dying to get their license. Why aren't you?
Cyd: What do we need to drive for, Shelby? We have a chauffeur.
Shelby: You mean my mom?
Cyd: That's the chauffeur I'm talking about. She's also our therapist, private chef and maid.
Shelby: Should we appreciate her more?
Cyd: Come on, there must be other things you'd rather do than study. Oh, I know. We could go back and relive the day we met in kindergarten.
Shelby: Are you trying to manipulate me by playing on my love for our friendship? 'Cause it's totally working! We'll study when we get back!
Cyd: I did not say that!
Cyd and Shelby jump to 2006
Shelby: This is amazing!
Shelby: Look how mini everybody is.
Cyd: Let's go see what we look like.
Shelby: Were we ever this young?
Cyd: We're so cute I want to punch us in the face.
Shelby: I love this. The messy projects, the grimy fingers. Hey, remember how they gave us trophies for practically anything? (Teacher hands Shelby and Cyd trophies) I got a trophy for being me!
Cyd: I got a trophy for keeping my finger out of my nose.
Shelby: Yeah, uh, Cyd? About that-
Cyd: Dang it! I don't deserve this. (Teacher give Cyd another trophy) I got a trophy for honesty!
2006, the elementary school.
Cyd: Kindergarten's the best! Remember these blocks that were soft enough to throw at someone? (throws block at Shelby)
Shelby: Ow! Those blocks are not soft.
Cyd: I would like to officially apologize to everyone in this room. I did not know.
Shelby: Okay, remember what we're here for. Let's relive how we met.
Cyd: I believe I was sitting at this table eating lunch.
Shelby: And I had just returned from the nurse's office with my third pair of loaner pants. Which I believe was a class record. So...
Cyd: Then the magic moment happened.
Shelby: (acting) I can't believe my mom put bologna in my cheese sandwich.
Cyd: I love bologna.
Shelby: You want mine?
Cyd: Thanks. I'm Cyd.
Shelby: I'm Shelby. Are we best friends now?
Cyd: You're rushing it. Just like you did back then.
Cyd: Hey Shelby, remember what I did next? I'm the bologn-ranger.
Shelby: This was so worth it. Thanks, Cyd. So, ready to go back?
Cyd: Come on, there's tons more we could do. Snacks. Nap time. Chasing boys. I got a bad case of cooties and I'm not afraid to spread them. I'm gonna get you, Kenny! (chases a boy)
Shelby: Don't worry, Kenny! It will be over soon!
Cyd: Ah, good times! (teacher sets a trophy on Cyd's desk) I just got a trophy for having good times. I love kindergarten! We're gonna stay here forever.
Shelby: Well, not forever.
Cyd: The only word I heard was "forever!"
Skips to nap time)
Shelby: It's 10:30 and we're taking naps! Can you believe this? Who's tired at 10:30?
Shelby: Cyd? (Teacher sets trophy down) Oh, Cyd, you got a napping trophy.
Cyd does thumbs-up
Cyd: (holds many trophies) You'd think you wouldn't get a trophy for being able to hold a bunch of trophies, but it's in here somewhere.
Shelby: All right, come on. Let's jump back so we can study for the Driver's Ed test.
Cyd: We don't need Driver's Ed. Look! Who needs real cars when we have these? (gets in toy car) We're living the dream! Woohoo!
Driver's Ed Class, the next day.
Barry: Ugh, this driving simulator is so stressful! There's some speed demon behind me who won't stop riding my bumper.
Naldo: You think you got problems? I got some old lady in front of me that won't let me go by.
Barry: Speed demon.
Naldo: Old lady.
Cyd and Shelby enter.
Barry: What happened to you two?
Shelby: We went back to kindergarten and raged.
Cyd: Never mix juice boxes with juice pouches. There's a reason they say, box before pouch, wake up on the couch.
Barry: You went back to kindergarten?
Shelby and Cyd: Sh!
Naldo: I got a bad case of cooties in kindergarten. You think it can never happen to you, but it can.
Mr. Doyle: (enters) Hope you enjoyed a little extra practice on the simulators. Sorry about the delay in getting your driver's ed tests. Someone tried to slice deli meat on the copy machine. So the first page of this test was on roast beef. Okay then.
Barry: Shelby? What happened to you? You look like you did when you were 13!
Shelby: What are you talking about?
Cyd: Shelby, you have braces and glasses!
Shelby: Agh! My awkward phase.
Naldo: Cyd, I like what you did with your hair. Girls appreciate when you notice.
Cyd: What happened to my hair?
Naldo: And sometimes they don't.
Both: We're thirteen! Ah!
In the commons.
Barry: Why do they girl look and act like they're 13? Do you think it has something to do with you jumping back to kindergarten.
Shelby: Duh-durr. It's totally terrifying. Uh-doy.
Barry: Now they're back in that irritating Valley Girl phase they went through.
Cyd: I am so nervous. I'm totally brewing a zit right in the middle of my forehead. (Barry looks) Ew! Don't look at it, zit lover! So do you guys, like, know what's happening to us, or what?
Shelby: Yeah, like, what's even going on? Like, I don't care, but I have to know!
Barry: Nearest I can figure, travelling back to kindergarten triggered something in your cells. It appears as though your brains and bodies have regressed two full years from your 15-year-old selves.
Naldo: Um, Barry?
Barry: One second, Ronaldo. Now, of course, this could all just be wild speculation on my part, but...
Naldo: Um, Barry. I think they got younger.
Barry: Aw, shuds!
Shelby: Stop staring at us.
Cyd: Yeah. Don't be icky!
Naldo: The girl were 15, then they were 13, and now they're 9! Why is this happening.
Barry: Well, this is the only time the girls have traveled back to when they were so small. Maybe know their minds and bodies are struggling to regain equilibrium.
Naldo: That's got to be it. And you know what we're going to do to fix it?
Barry: No, what?
Naldo: No, I was asking you. I have no idea!
Barry: All we know is it happened when they went back to kindergarten. We don't know how much younger they could get. They may de-age themselves out of existence.
Cyd: Barry, you have to help us.
Shelby: I'm scared.
Barry: Girls, I know how to fix this. Ronaldo, I just lied to the girls. Look there's no science class right now. I'm going to run to the lab and use the microscope to figure this out. I'll just need a cell sample. (Takes a strand of Shelby's hair)
Shelby: Ow! My hair.
Cyd: Don't even think about it, bub.
Naldo: If you give him one of your hairs, you can take one of Barry's. (Cyd pulls Barry's hair)
Barry: Ow! Ronaldo! Why'd you promise that? You know I have a tender scalp. Why do you think my mom has to mouth-dry my hair by sighing gently upon it. (Cyd gives Barry her hair) You keep an eye on the girls and just stay out of sight. We don't have much time. I'll be back as soon as I ca analyze these hairs. (Pulls Naldo's hair)
Naldo: Ow! What was that for?
Barry: I know how much you hate feeling left out.
Naldo: I do hate feeling left out. You're the best, Barry!
Mr. Doyle's classroom.
Barry: (enters) Mr. Doyle, excuse me. I need to use the microscope.
Mr. Doyle: Barry, this isn't a good time. I'm right in the middle of preparing the crash test dummy for the next Driver's Ed class.
Barry: Mr. Doyle, it's an emergency.
Mr. Doyle: Barry, not now.
Mr. Doyle: So sorry about that Gloria. Where were we? I hope you like pasta. I just guessed.
Mr. Doyle: As I was saying, everybody thinks I'm just Dishy Doyle with all the hot gossip. But you know why I talk about all the stuff out there? Because I'm afraid to talk about the stuff in here.
Barry takes a microscope
In the commons
Naldo: Don't worry. Barry will be back soon and you're going to be fine.
Shelby: What's wrong with us?
Naldo: Oh good. You've forgotten the fact that you're aging backwards.
Both: We're aging backwards?
Naldo: But everything will be fine.
Shelby: What's going to be fine?
Naldo: Oh good. You forgot again.
Cyd: Forgot what?
Naldo: That you're aging backwards.
Both: We're aging backwards?
Mr. Doyle's classroom
Mr. Doyle: (Dances with dummy) I don't usually dance in front of people, Gloria. But you make me feel so safe. You know, in some cultures, when a man dances with a woman they are engaged. Those cultures aren't actually real, but neither are you. That's right, Gloria. We can make our own rules!
In the commons
Naldo: This is so weird. At this age you guys would be in fourth grade.
Shelby: Cyd, remember that boy you totally had a crush on in the fourth grade?
Naldo: What are you guys talking about?
Cyd: (punches Naldo's arm) Shush!
Shelby: You were so in love with him. Every time he talked to you, you would shush him and punch him in the arm!
Naldo: Punch who in the arm?
Cyd: (punches Naldo's arm) Shush!
Shelby: He always wore hats. We called him hat boy.
Naldo: Wait a minute. I wear hats. Could you introduce me to hat boy? I think we'd have a lot in common!
Cyd: (punches Naldo's arm) Shush!
Mr. Doyle's classroom
Tackle dummy falls next to Barry
Mr. Doyle: Did you find a good hiding spot, Gloria? I'm going to count to ten and then I'm going to find you! Ten, nine, eight, seven... Oh, who can wait? Ready or not, here I come! Ah! Okay, Gloria, now you find me!
In the commons
Naldo: See, Gertrude is a tough 19th century girl who had a hardscrabble upbringing in the Yukon Gold Rush. Katherine is the milliner's daughter.
Cyd: How do you know so much about the Nation Girl Dolls collection?
Naldo: Uh... Oh look, here comes Barry! Let's listen to what he has to say.
Barry: Ronaldo, I've analyzed the hair cells and I have good news and bad news. If we don't get the girls back in the next couple of hours, they may never return to their normal selves.
Naldo: Just like frontier girl Mabel when she moved to the city and never went back to the farm again.
Barry: Are you talking about National Girl Dolls?
Naldo: So how about that good news?
Barry: I think I know what to fix it. I tried multiple chemicals and minerals, but when I added calcium, the cells repaired themselves.
Naldo: That's great! It sure is lucky you went into that lab, Barry.
Barry: Lucky for the girls, Ronaldo. But I payed a pricce for going into that lab. I saw things. Non-science things.
Naldo: Um, Barry?
Barry: Oh, don't say that. The last time you said that, they turned nine.
Naldo: So what should I say if they turned five?
Barry: They turned five?
Naldo: Oh, that's good, that's good. Let me try. They turned five?
Shelby: I want to watch a Cuddle Bunny cartoon!
Cyd: Hey mister, got any bologna?
Barry: We need lots of calcium, and calcium is in milk. Girls, Ronaldo and I are going to get you milk. We don't have much time. We're going to need to ask people to give use milk. Let's split up.
Both: I'll get the milk, you watch the girls. Okay, I'll watch the girls, you get the milk. Great, got it. Do we? I think so.
Barry and Naldo try to obtain milk
Barry: Ronaldo, I got one!
Naldo: That's great, Barry!
Barry: How did you get so much milk?
Naldo: It's easy, I just said, Hi, I'm Naldo. Can I have some milk.
three people give him milk
Barry: Wait, where are the girls?
Mr. Doyle: (To Shelby and Cyd) You're not supposed to be here. Don't worry, I'll take you to the principal's office. Hey, here's something my nieces like. (stick tongue out) Okay then.
Barry: Now we have to break the girls out of the principal's office. This is terrible. If wee can't fix them soon, we may lose them forever!
Barry: We have to break the girls out of the principal's office to give them milk so they don't de-age themselves out of existence.
Naldo: Don't worry, Barry. I have a plan. It's bold, it's daring, it's the most brilliant thing I've ever thought of. First, we get a chimp, a tractor trailer, and 300 feet of spaghetti.
Barry: I also have a plan.
Naldo: Let's go with that one.
Barry: Here's how we are going to do it... I'll make my way into the principal's outer office and charm his secretary with a clever joke. Hey, Mrs. Grimbleshaw. I found this dummy outside in the hallway. He must have been cutting class because he didn't study for his "crash test." Okay, Mrs. Grimbleshaw, but I'm going to get you to laugh before I graduate. Then it's up to you to sneak into the office.
Naldo: How do I get in there without her noticing me?
Barry: That's the clever part. With the principal in the bathroom, you'll have two minutes to get into his office and get the girls out before anyone realizes what's going on.
Naldo sneaks around in the office
Mr. Doyle: Mrs. Grimbleshaw, have you seen? There it is! Gloria! There you are! You are some good hider!
Naldo: Thanks, Mr. Doyle!
Barry: At which point I'll rush in and grab the girls, just like I planned all along. Come on, Ronaldo. We've no time for your shenanigans. Let's go.
In the Marcus family's home
Barry: Okay, we got you out of school. Now you just need to drink a lot of milk. and hopefully, it'll get you back to your correct ages.
Shelby: I don't want to!
Cyd: I hate milk.
Naldo: Come on girls, drink your milk.
Shelby: Okay uncle Naldo!
Cyd: I love milk.
Barry: I hope this works.
Shelby: I want juice now.
Barry: No, no, no. Millk. You have to drink milk. Milk comes from a cow. It's like cow juice.
Cyd: Milk comes from a cow?
Shelby: Ew, cows are yucky.
Naldo: Cows are yucky. But you know what's now yucky? Chocolate cows!
Barry: It's not working! I really thought I had the answer. I thought I could help them. I don't know what we're going to do now.
Shelby: Guys, it worked!
Barry: Oh thank goodness, you're back!
Naldo: We were afraid we were going to lose you! (They hug)
Shelby: Wait. Where is Cyd?
5 year old Cyd: I'm right here.
Shelby: Barry, why is Cyd still 5?
Barry: I don't get it. Why didn't Cyd get bigger? You both underwent the same transformation when you came back from kindergarten. You both drank the milk, what variable are we missing? Could there be some psychological component?
Naldo: Where did Cyd go?
In the elementary school
Shelby: Oh, thank goodness. There you are. We've been looking everywhere for you, Cyd. We need to get you back to Barry before it's too late. We've got to get you back to 15.
5 year old Cyd: I don't wanna be big.
Shelby: You don't want to be five years old forever. You want to be five years old forever. That's why the milk didn't work on you. You want to stay like this. But why?
5 year old Cyd: I'm scared.
Shelby: Of what?
5 year old Cyd: Growing up.
Shelby: I get it. It's scary. But you know what? There have always been scary things about growing up. The first day of school was scary. Learning to swim was scary. The magician at my sixth birthday was scary.
5 year old Cyd: There was a dead rabbit in his hat.
Shelby: And there wasn't supposed to be. You know how we got through those things? Together. Whatever's scaring you now, Cyd, we will get through it together. Just like we always do. (They hug, Cyd transforms into her 15 year old self) Cyd, you're back! Are you okay?
Cyd: I guess.
Shelby: What happened with you?
Cyd: I'm afraid to get my driver's license.
Shelby: That's what started this? The driver's ed test?
Cyd: It just freaked me out. Driving's so grown up. And that's only the beginning. First we're driving, then it's college, then it's jobs. It's all coming so fast. But then we went back to kindergarten, and it all stopped.
Shelby: When you said you wanted to stay there forever, I didn't think you meant it.
Cyd: Everything was just so easy again.
Shelby: I totally get it. But you're not growing up alone, Cyd. I'll be with you every step of the way, just like always.
Cyd: Thanks, Shelby.
Shelby: Of course. (They hug again)
Cyd: What do you say? One more spin in the kiddie car for old time's sake?
Shelby: Let's do this.
Cyd: Living the dream!
In the yard
Cyd: Thank you so much, Barry.
Shelby: We got ourselves into a lot of trouble with time travel, but as usual, you saved us.
Barry: Well, what can I say, but yes, I did.
9 year old Cyd: Yes, thank you Barry.
9 year old Shelby: Thank you so much.
5 year olds: Thank you Barry. Thank you Barry.
All: Thank you Barry. Thank you Barry. Thank you Barry. Thank you Barry. Thank you Barry. Thank you Barry. Thank you Barry. Thank you Barry. Thank you...
Barry wakes up in the RV.
Barry: Oh thank goodness. It was just a dream. (Naldo enters) Ronaldo, you'l never beleive the dream I just had. Cyd and Shelby were their 9-year-old selves, and their 5-year-old selves. It was a time paradox nightmare.
Naldo: Aw, that ruins my surprise.
Naldo wakes up
Naldo: Aw man. Barry's dream ruined my dream surprise.